


Being Alive

by greenieboy



Series: So This is Love [4]
Category: 9 to 5 the Musical - Parton/Resnick
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22344361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenieboy/pseuds/greenieboy
Summary: "Her hand was on Judy’s cheeks, absently stroking circles as her breaths matched Judy’s. It was intimate, more intimate than anything Judy had ever experienced before. Not with Dick, not with anyone. And it was with Violet. Her Violet. Violet, who she kissed on a whim because she just couldn’t stand the idea of not kissing her. Judy reached her hand out, finding purchase on Violet’s wrist as she opened her eyes. Violet was watching her, lips curled in that smile that drive Judy mad. She was so beautiful, Judy didn’t know what to do. Everything just felt so right, Judy wanted to scream and cling to Violet until the end of the world."They're so in love.
Relationships: Judy Bernly/Violet Newstead
Series: So This is Love [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1490618
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	Being Alive

**Author's Note:**

> no betaaaaa !!! sorry brittany :33. This is inspired by Stephen Sondheim's Being Alive (duh)

Judy frets over her hair with tears in her eyes. It won’t stay pinned properly, like how it usually does, and little tendrils keep falling out as she works harder to fix it. Judy bites her lip in frustration, holding in a sob as she readjusts a bobby pin. Her hands are shaking, which doesn’t help much at all. She stares herself down in the mirror, disappointed with the crying mess in front of her. It’s pathetic, how easily she’s crying today. She’s been so good at processing things without crying, but not good enough. Never good enough. Judy suddenly feels not enough for this. All of it. Her fingers tremble, dropping the pin to the counter. Judy shuts her eyes, feeling the sad tears escaping their ducts, rolling down cheeks that were made up pretty with makeup that would soon be ruined. That makes her cry harder. She is ruining it all. Judy isn’t ready for this. She just isn’t. And she doesn’t know how to become ready. Violet is always ready, always confident, taking life in stride without a second thought. But not Judy. No, she’s here, crying over her hair. Her stupid hair.

“Judy?” She hears Violet call from their bedroom. Judy stifles her sobs, reaching for a washcloth to dab under her eyes. The tracked mascara runs, and Judy realizes she ruined her makeup even more. Tears pool again, as Violet says again, “Judy?” She enters the bathroom, standing in the doorway, fixing her earring with her eyes cast to the floor. She glances up to Judy, her hands dropping the jewelry immediately as she rushes to hold Judy by her arms. “Judy? Judy, what’s the matter?” Asks Violet softly, her hand coming to cup Judy’s wet cheek. Judy shakes her head; she feels so silly. But Violet knows her, must know the look that’s in Judy’s eyes, because she says, “You’re not being silly, Judy. Just tell me what’s the matter.”

“I-” Judy hesitates. She inhales, not looking at Violet. “I - couldn’t pin my-my hair properly.” She stammers her words, trying not to feel so foolish in her partner’s arms. But Violet tips her head up, a soft look in her eyes as she presses a kiss to Judy’s forehead. Judy exhales, shuddering as Violet strokes her arms. They’re silent, but Judy feels as her body relaxes and her mind stops racing. Violet rests her hands on Judy’s hips briefly, before she’s pulling away and reaching for something as Judy says, “I’m sorry I - what are you doing?”

Violet beckons her close. “C’mere,” she says, holding a wipe in one of her hands. Judy sniffles, stepping forward as Violet takes the wipe and runs it across her cheeks, under her eyes, over her lips and forehead. Judy sighs, her hands resting on Violet’s forearms.

_She was in Violet’s bed. She couldn’t believe she was in Violet’s bed. She knew how exactly she had happened to come into her best friend’s bed, but it all felt like a fantasy, a dream she crafted in her sleep to make her heart yearn for what it didn’t deserve. And yet, there was Judy, eyes closed, wrapped in Violet’s sheets, her lovely sheets, inhaling deeply as Violet laid beside her. Her hand was on Judy’s cheeks, absently stroking circles as her breaths matched Judy’s. It was intimate, more intimate than anything Judy had ever experienced before. Not with Dick, not with anyone. And it was with Violet. Her Violet. Violet, who she kissed on a whim because she just couldn’t stand the idea of_ not _kissing her. Judy reached her hand out, finding purchase on Violet’s wrist as she opened her eyes. Violet was watching her, lips curled in that smile that drive Judy mad. She was so beautiful, Judy didn’t know what to do. Everything just felt so right, Judy wanted to scream and cling to Violet until the end of the world. Because allowing herself to touch Violet this way, allowing herself to want Violet this way, allowing herself to_ be _with Violet in this way, it wasn’t the end of the world. It simply wasn’t._

_“What are you thinking about?” Violet asked her, stroking a bit of hair from her face. Judy smiled softly, shuffling closer to Violet._

_“Plenty of things,” Judy murmured, her skin thrumming with electricity as Violet’s hand traveled down her side to rest on the dip of waist._

_Violet smirked, “Am I one of those things?” Her hand traced shapes on Judy through the sheet. Judy giggled, nodding and blushing as Violet’s head moved in closer to hers. Then Violet’s lips were pressing against Judy’s, not forceful or demanding, and Judy was so struck by how softly Violet kissed her. She expected nothing and only took what Judy offered. She was so different from Dick. Judy knew she shouldn’t even compare the two, but he was all she had ever known. He was mean, and rough, and made Judy feel at her lowest whenever he was near. But Violet was leaning away, pressing a kiss to the tip of Judy’s nose and holding her close, too close. Violet was leagues beyond Dick; Violet was kind and compassionate, soft and welcoming, understanding and accepting. She wasn’t mean. And she wanted Judy. Even if it was just for now, Violet_ wanted _Judy. Then there was a weight on her chest. What was she doing here? Why did Violet take her here? And here, where did they go from here? Judy felt anxiety and fear clutching at her throat, and she realized dimly she was ruining this perfect moment._

_Then Violet spoke. “What’re you doing tomorrow?”_

_Judy’s lips parted. “Tomorrow?” She questioned. The corner of Violet’s lips quirked, and she nodded. “I - I don’t think I’m doing anything tomorrow.”_

_Violet smiled, “Then how about we go to Sal’s. For dinner.”_

_Judy’s lips parted. “Violet?”_

_“It’ll be a date.” Violet grinned at her. “A proper one. You and me.”_

_“Oh, Violet,” Judy whispered. She shook her head, “You shouldn’t feel obligated to take me on a date.”_

_Violet scoffed, suddenly grabbing Judy’s hand and holding it to her chest. She kissed Judy then, passionately and sweetly, making Judy sag into her touch. “I don’t feel obligated. I want to take you on a date. Hell, there’s nothing I want more than to take you on a date,” Violet told her, pulling away. She smiled, softer now, and Judy’s chest was bursting at the seams, her heart alight with feelings that decimated her. “We just… did things a little out of order. And that’s okay. At least we’re… doing things, at all.” Judy laughed at that, and Violet looked at her, with this gleam in her eyes that made Judy lean in to kiss her chastely. Violet smiled against her lips, hand coming to cup Judy’s cheek again. “So,” she murmured, holding Judy impossibly closer, “you’ll go on a date with me?”_

_Judy exhaled. “Yes.”_

“Focus on breathing, honey,” Violet tells her, and Judy nods subtly, counting in her head as Violet cleans her face of ruined makeup. She wets the washcloth Judy had tried to use and dabs it on Judy’s face before dropping it and reaching for a hair tie on the counter. Judy closes her eyes and allows Violet to do her hair, combing her long fingers through Judy’s hair and twirling certain strands to get them to curl. Judy laughs softly as she opens her eyes to see Violet, her tongue between her lips as she takes a couple bobby pins and slides them into Judy’s hair. Her eyebrows raise as she pulls her hands away, a smile spreading across her lips as she takes in whatever hairstyle she’s done for Judy. Judy turns her head towards the mirror, but Violet catches her chin. “Nuh uh, not yet,” she says to Judy, a mischievous smile replacing the proud one from before. So Judy smiles weakly and nods, watching as Violet takes her moisturizer and squirts enough to spread across Judy’s face, massaging it into her skin in soothing circles until Judy scrunches her nose. She reaches for Judy’s mascara, applying it slowly in an effort to avoid smudges and clumps. Next she takes Judy’s power and its puff, dabbing it around Judy’s cheeks and nose and chin and forehead, evenly spreading it until Judy’s face no longer gleamed from the moisturizer. Then it’s blush, swiped across Judy’s cheeks in swift and steady motions, and lipstain, lightly wiped on Judy’s lips and spread by Violet’s finger.

“Thank you,” Judy says, her voice hoarse and a little cracked, as Violet applies a bit more blush to her cheeks.

“You don’t have to thank me, Judes,” Violet says, eyes raking across her face.

“Yes, but,” Judy mutters, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m going to anyway.” Violet smiles at her, then, looking in her eyes.

“Are you okay?” She asks, brushing hair from Judy’s forehead.

Judy nods, swallowing. “I -” She inhales. “I am now.”

Violet holds her hips again. “I know you’re nervous, Judy. But - we’re gonna be just fine. Better, even.” Judy nods, resting her head on Violet’s chest, careful not to mess up her hair. Violet kisses her forehead again, sighing as she rocks them back and forth for a moment. “How about you look at your new ‘do, hm? Tell me if I did a good job.” Violet whispers to her, and Judy smiles, turning to her to take in her appearance in the bathroom mirror.

“Oh, Violet…”

_Judy could hear the yelling coming from Violet’s office, just behind the locked door. She winced, listening as Violet’s voice paled against the cadence of the board member shouting at her. She wasn’t really able to comprehend the words, but she knew they were meant to sting. Violet was tough, tougher than most, but she heard the office door unlock, open, and then slam as the shriveled husk of a man who had the gaul to yell at Violet scrolling through the bullpen to the elevators. Judy pursed her lips, watching with contempt as the man disappeared behind the elevator doors. A kind of anger pooled within her, beginning at the fingertips, filling past the wrists, up the arms, and then she was rising from her chair, striding with purpose to the break room as the anger climbed up her calves. She needed to go to Violet, needed to calm her, needed to_ be there _for her. She found Violet’s mug, washed it carefully despite her quivering hands, and filled it with hot water, steeping a tea bag in the steaming water as she added the amount of sugar she knew Violet liked. She heard Maria and Kathy pass by her, whispering. She forced her eyes closed, trying not to hear what they were going to say._

_“Of course he’s going to be hard on her, she’s the first and only female CEO this company has ever seen.”_

_“Not to mention I heard that someone was trying to convince Tinsworthy to replace her.”_

_“Do you think he would?”_

_“Who knows with those men.”_

_Judy steadied herself against the counter, biting her lip as she brought herself down from the edge of rage. She wanted to rave, and defend Violet, or just slam his fists on the tile and scream. But she was no good to Violet angry. So she breathed, in through the nose, out through the mouth, carrying the mug of tea across the bullpen to the closed door of Violet’s office. Judy thought just to open the door, but something told her to knock. So she raised a fist and knocked gently, twice, waiting for Violet’s soft “come in” before twisting the doorknob. The door shut behind her quietly, and Judy turned to Violet’s desk. Within in an instant, her heart was cracking at the sight: Violet, wiping her eyes harshly, nose red and running, hands shaky as she tried in vain to compose herself. Judy moved slowly across the room, her heart thundering in her chest, placing the cup of tea down in front of Violet and walking around her desk. Her hand found Violet’s, and she pressed her lips to Violet’s knuckles, and she suddenly wished she was as good at comforting as Violet was. But she wasn’t, and as Violet cried into her side, all Judy could do was simply hold her. It didn’t feel like it was very much, but it was all she had. She wondered, in the back of mind, when she came to need Violet so much, and vice versa. Judy thought dimly that, maybe it was always. Perhaps she was seeing it now because it was glaring her in the eyes, that they_ needed _one another._

_Violet murmured, lowly, broken, grappling for words, “I-I-It-”_

_Judy shushed her, holding her closer. “Calm down first, Violet,” she said, “drink some tea. Speak when you’re ready.” She felt Violet nod, and she hoped to god she was cut out to be enough for Violet right now._

“Violet, I can dress myself,” Judy says as Violet pulls her pantyhose up on of her legs.

Violet smiles at her, rolling the next leg. “I know,” she replies, shimmying the waistband around Judy’s hips and adjusting her skirt over it. Judy clicks her tongue, smiling as Violet slips her shoes on and helps her to her feet. She allows Violet to slide her arms into the blouse she picked out, doing up the buttons slowly as her fingertips ghost across Judy’s skin. Her breath hitches, and Judy’s cheeks go red underneath the makeup on her face. Violet glances up at her, smirking, buttoning the top and pulling Judy by her hips to tuck in her shirt. Judy huffs, understanding the game Violet has begun to play at. She rolls her eyes, leaning in to steal a kiss from Violet. “Miss Judy,” she gasps, pretending to be scandalized, her brows raised as high as they can go. Judy snickers, leaning again just to let their noses touch.

“That’s Missus Bernly-Newstead,” Judy quips, smirking back at Violet.

“You’re married? Damn,” Violet curses, pouting as her arms wrap around Judy’s midsection. Judy giggles, rising on her tippy toes as Violet says, “Well, I hope you’re happy with your probably incredibly sexy and loving wife.” Judy laughs outright, her arms finding their way to Violet’s neck as they stand together.

“Oh, I am,” she says, bringing Violet in for another kiss. Their kiss ends right before it becomes a little too needy, and Judy sighs against Violet’s lips, “I most certainly am.”

“So what are you kissing a complete stranger for?” Violet teases, flicking Judy’s nose, and Judy’s jaw drops as she laughs incredulously. She faux hits Violet’s arm, listening as her lover laughs herself silly at her own idiotic joke.

_Judy’s therapist office was warm, but never comforting. She crossed her legs, and then uncrossed them before crossing them once more. She waited for the woman to sit across from her with her notepad and judgemental gaze as Judy struggled to articulate herself. Judy frowned; why did she keep seeing this woman? Perhaps it was time to find a better therapist. But, that meant finding one more person to tell about her homosexual relationship with her best friend and boss. And goodness knows what Judy would do if whatever new therapist she found reacted badly. Maybe Judy would keep this woman for a little while longer. She shifted in her seat as her therapist_ finally _sat opposite of her._

_“So, how has your week been?” The woman asked, clicking her pen._

_There was the million dollar question. She asked Judy this same question every two weeks, every two week Judy had no idea in the slightest on how to answer. Her week been her fine. Good. Great. Her week had been great. Or well, it hadn’t really been. Because Martin from three desks over had decided to spread a rumor that he and Judy had gone out for drinks last weekend and_ spent the night _together at his house. Which had not happened, as Judy spent her weekends with Violet. And of course, when Violet caught wind of it, she smacked down the biggest HR complaint Consolidated had ever seen in its entire existence. It had gotten Martin fired just this Monday. And it wasn’t Judy’s fault because it was Martin’s choice to lie and make up those claims, but she wasn’t sure how to feel. Maybe it was because she had never had anyone like Violet in her life to stand up for her and protect her so fiercely when she couldn’t do it herself. Or, that was what her therapist suggested._

_“Maybe,” Judy said softly, picking at a loose thread in her sweater._

_“Well, it is true that Violet is the first romantic partner to show you this degree of care,” her therapist said, scribbling. She glanced at Judy over her glasses. “How do you feel about that?”_

_Judy opened her mouth. “I-” But she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know. She didn’t like the fact that it had taken her thirty-eight years to find a partner that made her feel so genuinely loved and cherished, but she did like that it was Violet who was that partner. Because she loved Violet. So much. Still, there was something grating at her from the back of her mind. She bit her lip. “Violet has been spending a lot of nights at my apartment lately,” she said, her leg beginning to bounce. “And when she’s not spending the night with me, she’s asking me if I want to spend the night with her.”_

_Her therapist pursed her lips. “You two are dating. It’s not uncommon.” The woman waved her hand, before her motions slowed and her eyes narrowed. She peered at Judy, raising an eyebrow. “Does this scare you?”_

_“I-I… think it does,” Judy admitted quietly, sniffling._

_“Why?”_

_Judy furrowed her brow. Why? Because she loved Violet, more than anyone she had ever lived in her entire life, and with one wrong move, Violet could realize she didn’t want to be with Judy. Because why would she want to be? Violet was kind, and gorgeous, and intelligent, and powerful, and confident. And what was Judy? She was anxious, and easily unsettled, and clumsy, and not very pretty - not compared to other girls. Judy could acknowledge she wasn’t who Violet should want to be with. Not when there was more likely than not so much better out there for her. She basked in Violet’s love, for as long as it would last, but it was only a matter of time before Violet got sick of her like everyone else in her life did and leave. That was how it always went. Because Judy was meant to be_ alone, _and Judy wasn’t-_

_“I don’t recall inviting Dick to this session,” her therapist commented, marking through something on her notepad._

_Judy felt the air escape her lungs. “What?”_

_Her therapist leaned forward, pointing her pen at Judy. “I don’t think those thoughts are really yours.” She cleared her throat. “And I think it’s time they left your head before you sabotage what is the most positive relationship in your life.” Judy stared at the carpeted floor. Her therapist scrunched her brow. “And maybe it’s time to open the lines of communication and tell Violet about all this. I think she’s in your corner more than you’re willing to allow.”_

Violet goes to the kitchen to collect the paperwork and their bags, and Judy stands in the hallway, picking at her nails. She’s still so nervous. She has every right to be. It’s a big step they’re taking, but god it’s the right one. She’s never felt more sure. They’ve been approved, after months and months of searching and struggling and pleading, they’ve been approved. A smile finds her lips at the thought. It took so long, but it happened. Isn’t that something? She bounces on her toes, glancing at herself in the hall mirror. Her hair is in that style Violet loves so much, half up, half down. It makes her look so much younger than she feels. But Violet made her look lovely, so lovely for such an important day. She can hardly believe.

“Do you have the keys, Judes?” Violet asks from the kitchen. Judy takes the car keys from the cup by the door and twirls them around her finger as Violet walks down the hall, bags in hand. “Hand ‘em over, kiddo.” Judy smiles, opening the front door.

_Her mother placed two cups of tea in between them, and Judy reached for her own cup. She held it close to her, fingers warming through the ceramic. It had been a very long while since she had last seen her mother. Since her wedding day. She remembered her parents’ faces, their disappointed and disapproving faces, when she had been officially married to Dick. It had broken her heart, but she thought that she was doing what was right. Judy wondered if she could have been more wrong. She had lost touch with her parents after the honeymoon; Dick didn’t like that she called her mother so often and wrote to her father at all. So she stopped. And then, after a few years of being miserably married to Dick, when her father had passed, Dick hadn’t allowed her to attend the funeral, and she hardly found time to call her mother in secret and sob on the telephone. It hadn’t occurred to her that once Dick was out of her life that she could have a relationship with her family. Then Judy had gone with Violet to her family’s Thanksgiving dinner, and being surrounded by her parents and all her siblings as well their spouses and children, Judy suddenly felt the crippling urge to call her mother and cry. So she did. And Violet held her while she did so, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. And of course her mother had welcomed her home. And there she was now, sitting across from her mother._

_“How have you been, Judy?” Her mother asked, a calm and pleasant smile on her face, and Judy noticed she held her cup the same way her mother did. When did that happen?_

_“I-” She paused, rubbing her finger over the handle of her cup. “I’ve been well. A lot better since I - since Dick and I divorced.” She hid her face behind her mug, sipping as she cast her gaze away._

_“And you’re happy with it? The divorce?” Her mother questioned curiously._

_Judy smiled, waving her hand. “I’m more than happy. I think getting a divorce was probably one of the best things to ever happen to me,” she told her mother, scooting her chair forward._

_Her mother smiled knowingly. “One of the best things?”_

_Judy flustered, pursing her lips. “Among other things.” She sipped her tea again, ignoring the burn on her tongue that was sure to irritate her later on. She looked at her mother, her grip on the cup tightening a bit as she asked, “How have you been? Since father-”_

_“I’ve been okay,” her mother said simply. “It’s hard to live without him, but I’ve still got some life to live so… here I am.” Judy nodded, her gaze fixed on the table. Her parents had really loved one another. Judy inhaled; she wanted to tell her mother about Violet. About meeting her, and falling in love with her just a little everyday, and everything falling into place, little by little. About how kissing made so much sense, and being with her made even more, and living with her made the most. About how accepting Violet’s proposal and getting married was going to be the best decision she would ever make. But how? And was now the right time? What if her mother didn’t take it well? What if she was ashamed of her daughter, for being a lesbian? Would it be worth it? Judy chewed the inside of her cheek, her mind racing a mile a minute as her heart pounded in her throat. She thought about Violet, and the engagement ring she had forgotten to remove before knocking on her mother’s door, and she sucked in a breath. Then, her mother said, “Are you going to tell me what’s making you think so loud?”_

_Judy snapped her head up. “What?”_

_Her mother smiled. “You’re living with someone, aren’t you?”_

_Judy blushed, toying with the ring around her finger. “Well, I - yes, I am, but mother -”_

_“Oh, I haven’t seen you this embarrassed since junior high. Well, go on. Tell me what his name is,” Her mother pressed, smiling brightly._

_Judy inhaled sharply. She could do it now. She could. Being honest with those she loved was a step toward being happier in life. And she was already so happy, but she wanted to be happy with her mother in her life. She exhaled, eyes trained on her tea. “Violet,” she said softly._

_Her mother leaned forward. “What was that sweetie?”_

_Judy sat up straighter. “Violet,” she repeated, louder, trying not to cave to her own anxieties. “I live with a woman... named Violet. We - we’ve lived together for the past two and a half years, and we’re -”_

_“So that’s why you’ve got that shiny engagement ring,” her mother commented, sitting back in her chair and cupping her own cheek with satisfied smile. Judy gaped, eyebrows raised as she stared at her mother. The old woman chuckled, patting Judy’s hand reassuringly. “How about you tell me about this Violet girl, hm? She sounds nice. And she must be pretty well off if she can afford a ring like that.” Judy laughed wetly, feeling tears in her eyes at her mother’s words. She nodded, sipping her tea and wondering how to tell her mother exactly how they got together while sparing the… savory details._

“You ready for this?” Violet asks her, as she puts the key in the ignition and starts the car. Judy buckles her seat belt.

“As ready as I’m ever going to be,” Judy replies, holding the paperwork to her chest. “And you, Violet?”

Violet nods her head, smiling nervously. “I think I am… I think I’m ready.” She takes the car out of park and begins to drive. Judy places her hand over Violet’s on the gearshift.

_They had gone through this process before. They had been rejected, too. Agencies didn’t quite like couples like…_ them. _It wasn’t about the finances to support a child, or both their ages, or their occupations. No, it wasn’t about any of that. It was because they were women, living together, as a couple. Agencies would take one look at them and deny them with no more than a second glance. Their relationship was not something that would provide a healthy environment for a growing child, the agencies claimed. It wouldn’t do for a child to be raised by two mothers, rather than a mother and a father. And as much as she denied it, each rejection broke Judy down more and more. Violet had gotten her chance, gotten her son, raised him to be the strapping young university student he was today, but Judy… Judy even had so much as a pet to nurture. She wanted a child. Wanted a child with Violet. And she wanted it more than anything in the world. But there would have been too many complications for Judy if she had tried to have her own baby and carried to term, and that had scared her. She had thought there would be other options. Adoption, though, didn’t look like one. And after so many rejections, Judy hadn’t been sure if it was ever going to happen. If she was ever going to be a mother._

_But, then again, they had never gotten this far in the process. Before, they had denied on the first application. But this time, they had been contacted by the agency, told their application was spotless and impeccable, and that they seemed like the picturesque couple to adopt. Judy had cried, clinging to Violet. Of course, there still had been so many steps to follow, and so many hoops to jump through. There were the_ several _house inspections, and the mental and physical evaluations, and the questionnaires, and the payments that were just so much more than Judy had expected. But Violet had stayed by her side, went through the house inspections, underwent the evaluations, answered every last questionnaire, paid every cent necessary. They followed the steps, jumped through the hoops, walked blindly into fire, hands clasped together as they did so. Because everything they did, they did together. And finally, after all of the hurdles, they got it. The letter. The confirmation. The date. The day they would meet their little girl._

Violet parks the car outside the building, hands still gripping the steering wheel. She’s staring straight ahead, her lip caught between her teeth. Judy sighs; she knows how Violet is feeling. She’s feeling the exact same. But they’ve been waiting for this day. There’s no turning back now. She cups Violet’s face, forcing her lover to meet her eyes. “We can do this,” Judy says, exhaling shakily. “We’re ready for this.”

_Violet nodded. “We’re ready for this,” she repeats, and a wary smile crosses her lips. Judy returns the smile and takes her hand. She squeezes and opens the passenger door._

_Today. Judy had worried herself sick preparing for this day. It wasn’t the day they took her home, but it was still important. The child was only three; she was hardly old enough to understand what was happening. But Judy and Violet had read her file and fallen in love with the little girl. And now they were going to meet her. Judy wanted to be her best, make the best impression on the little girl, show her that they were going to be the mothers she could ever want. She woke at five in the morning, laying in bed, awake, cuddled into Violet’s side. Her partner was still fast asleep, looking so peaceful and sweet. Judy rose from the bed, however, and moved to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, slowing undressing as she waited for the water to warm. Once she stepped in, Judy sighed, dipped her head under the water and wiping the water from around her eyes. She lathered her hair, trying to relax herself as nerves began to mount. She hadn’t known Violet was awake until the woman had stepped into the shower behind Judy, her hands sliding across Judy’s waist._

_“Violet?” Judy question, turning to face her lover and rinse the shampoo from her hair._

_“Morning, Judes,” she croaked, her voice low and sleepy, pressing her lips to Judy’s. Judy returned the kiss softly, hands settling on Violet’s shoulders as they stood under the hot stream of water together. Judy broke the kiss, resting her head on Violet’s chest for a moment. “You okay?” Violet asked, holding her close._

_“I’m a bit nervous,” Judy admitted, casting her gaze down. Violet tilted her head up._

_“Me too,” she said, smiling still. She yawned, scrunching her face up. “We got this.”_

_“You’re too tired to know what you’re saying, honey,” Judy said, chuckling slightly._

_“Maybe. Or maybe I just have a feeling about today,” Violet replied, kissing her cheek. “Trust me.”_

_“Easy,” Judy quipped, reaching for the conditioner._

_They finished their shower soon after, Judy toweling her body dry and pushing her hair back as she did her makeup. She powdered her face, brushed on her blush, applied her lipstick and mascara. She could hear Violet humming in their bedroom as she dressed, a song Judy didn’t recognize. She swayed along regardless, checking and double checking her makeup. Satisfied, she moved on to her hair, reaching for the blow dryer and working the hot air through her hair as she brushed through her locks. But she ran into trouble once it dried. She tried twisting up into a bun on the top of her head, but there were fly aways and she was out of hairspray. Besides, Violet hated the smell of hairspray. So she tried her hair down, it looked messy and unappealing. She didn’t know what to do. Judy supposed she could do her typical updo, the one she did for work, but her hands were beginning to shake. It just wouldn’t cooperate. Judy fretted over her hair with tears in her eyes._

**Author's Note:**

> leave a kudos/comment if u enjoyed. find me on tumblr @ bernly


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